I'm in love with fictional guys. And maybe K-Pop boybands.

I have only a day and a half left in China.

In that amount of time, I must start and finish a 2,000 word paper on Journey to the West that I was halfway through completing, when the screen on my laptop turned green, then purple, then just froze. Now it'll turn on, but the screen won't come to life. Like a laptop coma.

Besides that, I really have nothing to report. It's weird thinking I'll be leaving China. I feel like I just got here, but another part of me feels like I've been here all my life.

Also, I'm very frustrated to report that today, I finally discovered the only English channel on my TV. Oh, what's that? Oh, it's only my favorite channel, the DISCOVERY CHANNEL. I WATCHED DIRTY JOBS. WITH CHINESE SUBTITLES. FATE. WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW THIS TO ME SOONER, LIKE THE FIRST WEEK I WAS HERE, NOT THE LAST WEEK. NOT TWO DAYS BEFORE I LEAVE CHINA. WHYYYYYYY.

Ah, but I'm not really that frustrated. Well, right now. Because I'm listening to Super Junior.



Oh, hey there guy fourth from the left.

I've also realized I have unrealistic expectations in guys. Specifically the guy I'm "meant to be with". Probably because the only guys I like are fictional orange haired asians who have super powers, or fictional black haired asians who also have super powers (and their name may or may be Hei which IS Chinese for black), or guys in Miyazaki's films, or k-pop stars, or timelords who go about saving the world and time travelling in their blue police box spaceship, or Matthew Bellamy when he was in his early 20s and spiked his hair/dyed it....

You get the picture.

I think I'm fated to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm alright with that though. As long as I can adopt asian children. That's all I really need.

But in more serious news.

I never get serious on here, so I don't like the way this is shifting anymore than you do.

However, I need to get this off my chest without mentioning any names. It's been bothering me ever since I found out a couple of days ago.

One thing that scares me so much about other people, is that you really don't know who they are. You may think you know them, and understand how they tick, and think you've got them all figured out. But the truth is, you have no idea. It's so easy to act one way, and then act completely different the next moment. That's one reason I never want to get into a relationship, because people can change. Or just be who you never expected them to be.

It's so hard for me to be friends with someone, when part of me just wants to call them names they deserve to be called, or when part of me wants to punch them in the face.

How can people who seem like the nicest people in the world, turn out to be massive jerks who use people just to get what they want with no regard for other people's emotions?

Boys. are. so. STUPID.

That's it. I don't want to keep ranting and raving．I mean, I could. But I won't. Just don't prove me right people. Please. Just be nice, and don't use people, or lie to them, or only tell them part of the truth. Treat others the way you want to be treated and stuff. If you want to be lied to, and cheated on, then there's something seriously wrong with you. And maybe someone should punch you in the face.

I don't really know how to transition from that.

But.

You want to know what happens in five days?

THE DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

:D

:D

This could possibly be the best present. Ever. Thank you BBC.

Actually, I can't decide if I'm more excited about the Christmas special, or Christmas. It's a pretty close tie.

Anyways, I'm going to read through this and check for spelling mistakes, because this computer doesn't do that nifty red squiggly when I mispell things. So I'm sorry if there are any painful mistakes.

Also, I‘m determined to bring everything back with me to America. I think I can make everything fit... and at this point, if I have to pay extra, then whatever dudeman. Doesn't make sense to me why I should pay 75 dollars for having 5 more pounds of weight then I should, but whatever. The systems in place so the plane doesn't crash. I get it.

Regardless, the next time I post, I will be in America, and typing from a computer that doesn't keep turning my english words into random Chinese characters. You have no idea how frustrating this is. And I　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｗｒｉｔｅ　２，０００　ｗｏｒｄｓ．　Ｓｅｅ？　ＳＥＥ　ＷＨＡＴ　ＩＴ'Ｓ　ＤＯＩＮＧ.　ＷＨＡＴ　ＩＳ　ＴＨＩＳ　ＳＣＲＩＰＴ.　Ｉ　ＤＯＮ'Ｔ　ＥＶＥＮ　ＵＮＤＥＲＳＴＡＮＤ.

Have fun with your life and stuffs people.

And please, please, PLEASE don't turn into a horrible person overnight.

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry

I would like to share my current obsession with you.

K-pop.

Specifically... Super Junior.

This photo reminds me of Durarara!!! (the actual title of the manga/anime has exclamation points.... FYI).

Oh. Hey there.

They're like Backstreet Boys, but waaay better because there are three times the amount of guys and they're freaking ASIAN.

Watching their videos gives me the false expectation that I, too, can dance. 

Which I totally can.

Also. If by chance they happen to have a show near me. I'm totally there. Like shareware.

[I would like to take this moment to thank Guiliani (my friend who's obsessed with Korea/Koreans/K-pop) for giving me that k-pop mix (which she doesn't remember giving me) that had Super Junior on it.]

You know that question, "If you could have any super power what would it be?" and people always give horribly cliched boring answers like "invisibility" or "reading minds" or whatever? Well, now my "super power" has changed. I wish I had the power to summon musicians. First I would have to do some kind of ritual of course, like whip out some scroll and shout something, I don't know, like "音乐！来!" and that's when they would appear in a puff of smoke.

Think of how handy that would be. You're walking to class, when you see what's-her-face, coming straight towards you. You swore to yourself that what's-her-face was your archenemy ever since that time she flirted with that guy you had a crush on but never had a shot with. In an effort to create confusion, before she could brag to you about how her and Tommy McAbs are dating, you summon Super Junior to avert attention away from yourself. Or you could summon some band from the UK that I talk about obsessively so I'll try not to use their band name BUT the bassist and drummer also have December birthdays and the singer/guitarist/pianist/10th-Doctor-look-a-like is engaged to someone whose name rhymes with Hate Mudson.

Also, I would save so much money on concerts.

So. Much.

Oh I didn't mention? I also summon an entire stage, not just the musician(s). And baozi. Just because. That way I could end world hunger and provide a show.

I've already made a decision to buy a Super Junior CD before I leave [it is essential for my survival. And the plane ride back to the states which is in 15 days.]. Except this time, when I try to find the book store, I won't get horribly lost.

Flashback....

So there I was. Monday. Specifically, November 28. Our group had grown used to staying in the apartment (at least those of us who aren't dating someone/potentially dating someone) and watching shows we bought LEGALLY from the night market. I was growing tired of watching shows, especially since I had already finished Pushing Daisies (WHY WAS IT CANCELLED), Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother... and my stash of unwatched shows was reaching a dangerous low. No one else wanted to go with me, because they were tired/watching shows/BEING BORING so I went off by myself.

Well, I found the 21 bus. The problem was that there were like four 21 buses. I just sort of creeped on Chinese businessmen and figured out which one to go on. I sat down in a seat, and began to listen to music through my big headphones I bought from the night market, counting down the number of stops we approached. I was supposed to get off at the 8th stop. Well, the 8th stop was practically 100 feet away from the 7th stop, so as the bus stopped I was slightly confused, but regardless I made an effort to get up. This brings me to the definition of a Space Invader.

Space Invader, n.
1) An individual who is unaware of society's "personal space".
2) An individual who will chose to stand next to your seat, instead of sitting in one of the 20 empty seats, blocking you in.
3) Said individual will also answer their phone ("WEI?! NIHAO!!!")...and talk in an unnecessarily loud voice.
4) Even though you're obviously trying to get out of your seat, said "space invader" won't move, so you develop the Chinese custom of pushing and shoving.

Long story short... I didn't manage to get off the bus in time. I couldn't even play it off cool, like "Oh I'm just getting ready to get off at the next stop." I made an obvious dash for the doors, only to have them shut coldly into my face. Me not knowing how to yell at the driver, just stood there awkwardly knowing that EVERYONE on the bus was aware that I had missed my stop.

Well, I figured I would just get off at the next stop and walk back a bit.. right?

Wrong.

We drove for like 15 minutes. So basically I backtracked forever. Only to realize... the book store wasn't at the "8th stop" like I thought it was. I had unintentionally gotten off at the right stop.

So I just went to Starbucks.

That's not the end of the story. Don't you worry.

As I was walking along, enjoying the view (I discovered pathways with trees!) I heard someone saying "Nihao! Hi! Nihao!" and just thought "Agh whyyyyyyy" but turned around and said "Nihao". Of course the conversation didn't end there. The man continued to talk to me in Chinese. I have no idea what he was saying. It didn't even sound Chinese. It sounded like... I dunno. Something equally as horrible. I did hear him say the word for friend, but besides that is anyone's guess. He continued to try and have a conversation with me, so I told him I was American. Actually, I wish I told him that. I told him I was America. And that, instead of studying at the University, I was studying the university. I then told him "我的汉语不好“, ("My Chinese is not good") and he just smiled, and said some other sentence with the word "朋友“ "friend" in it.... and then he asked me where I was going. I figured that, since even in America it's not good to tell strangers where you live/where you're going/ your social security number, I just told him "I don't know" in Chinese. He nodded (YEA THAT'S RIGHT I'M NOT STUPID YOU CHINESE DUDEMAN) and I said bye in Chinese... then I awkwardly sped walked ahead cause we were basically going in the same direction.

I've recently figured out that google will tell you what bus to take, and the number of stops. So the next time I go, hopefully I will get my CD. Also, hopefully I will remember to add "ren" to "Meigou" so I can tell people I'm American and not America.

That's enough ranting and raving for now. And don't you worry, I was/am listening/watching Super Junior music videos on youtube as I wrote/write/edit this entire post.

THAT'S CHINESE AT THE BOTTOM. It means "perfect".

Have fun with your life and stuffs peoples. Until next time.

P.S. My birthday was this past weekend (December 3rd) and it was pretty sweet. I also managed to watch Scott Pilgrim vs. the World into my birthday.

I seriously love this movie. Even if the people I was watching it with thought it was weird. I'm glad they're friends with me enough to watch it with me regardless.

P.P.S. The title of this post is taken from a Super Junior song.

Here, there be 龙

DID YOU KNOW THAT CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI'S BOOK, INHERITANCE, THE FOURTH BOOK IN THE INHERITANCE CYCLE, IS OUT NOW?!

READ AN EXCERPT HERE 

I would buy it here, but I think I might have told my mom I wanted it, and it would probably be the same price as it would be at home (yes people not everything is dirt cheap here, there are some things that are super expensive. I know I'm always talking about cheap things, but I happened to buy a tea cup yesterday for 150 yuan, which is 30 US dollars), and I'm starting to run really low on room in my carry on... so this will have to wait til I get back. Can somebody please read it for me, so I can vicariously live through you. Thanks.

I also tried to see if any of his book signings would take place after I came back to the states... but that's a negative. Why can't I be nerdy... wei shenmeeeeeeee?!

Speaking of dragons, although the western version of dragons looks cool, I think asian dragons are waaay cooler. They're like air snakes or something, and sort of more believable. If dragons are real. Were real. Could be real. Did anyone else see that special about dragons on discovery channel ages ago? Oh you didn't? Me... neither.... *cough*

Regardless, to be completely honest I should really be doing 我的功课(my homework)，but I don't feel like making a sentence using the word "to interpret" or looking up the difference between "有点儿“ or "一点儿“ (they're basically the same thing, just one is used before a noun instead of after). It's just so much wooorrrkkk I'm too lazyyyyy. And we have a dictation tomorrow bleeehhhhhh.

Have I mentioned the difference between Chinese teachers and American teachers? Let me give an example. In school, when I took German, I remember that even though I got the genders wrong on words (like "die" instead of "das") they would still give me credit for having the correct noun after it.

Chinese teachers: if you have the wrong tone mark above the word, it's completely wrong. One stroke is missing from the character? Wrong. Don't have a period 。after your sentence?! 不对！你是不好留学生！FAILURE. YOU ARE A FAILURE TO YOUR COUNTRY, AND YOURSELF. BUT MOSTLY TO CHINA.

I've realized that although I can understand what people are saying, I feel like a little kid who knows how to talk, but doesn't want to. Unfortunately, to get better at Chinese I need to talk. Especially since I only have 二十五天( 25 days) left. Apparently having a Chinese significant other (boyfriend in my case) improves your Chinese vastly. But how do I expect to get a boyfriend in the next 25 days when I never got a boyfriend in the first 21 years (Almost 22! My birthday is in a week!) OF MY LIFE?! HOW?! WHY MUST LIFE BE SO DIFFICULT?!

为什么？！

In other news, I've had this song stuck in my head for like five days.

I keep trying to use this program on my computer that takes the audio from youtube and turns it into an MP3 or 4 or whatever... but it keeps saying file is invalid (MAYBE I'LL INVALID YOUR FACE STUPID PROGRAM).

Whatever man. I wanted it mostly for my playlist I'm already starting on for my trip back to Houghton College, because my OTHER playlist that was TEN HOURS LONG got deleted when they re-imaged my computer. You want to know how long it takes to make another 10 hour playlist?! For-FREAKING-ever! So far, I'm only up to 6.8 hours. So close....


In other other news, yes I managed to celebrate Thanksgiving. And since none of us study abroad students are made of money, and didn't feel like spending a bajillion dollars on turkey (an 8 lb. turkey was over 100 US dollars. To be more exact, 800 kuai. Dudeman. There was like, 12 of us.) we ordered chicken from KFC. We also made pasta, and mashed potatoes, and corn. Since there weren't enough forks, we ate with chopsticks and a giant spoon. I felt like a mixture of cultures as I ate my "American" food in China and cut my chicken with my spoon like I was Thai. Kind of weird.

Also, I'm at that point where, when I'm watching a show, and see the characters making breakfast, or pouring coffee... I lose all focus on the plot and just stare at what they're eating/doing. I miss english muffins. I didn't even realize this until today. I miss being able to blow my nose and my snot not being grey. Flushing my toilet paper. Daylight savings time. The stars.

But when I leave I also realize there will be things I will miss about China. Like Baozi. Or chopsticks. Bus rides. Especially when you take the 79 back from the night market and your bus driver seems to think he's a cab driver and there are no shock absorber things on the wheels, so essentially riding the 79 is akin to riding a roller coaster. Dumplings. With vinegar. So much vinegar. Matuan. Oh matuan I love you. Agh. I'm not ready to leave China yet. NO 25 DAYS. WHY HAVE YOU COME SO QUICKLY. I DON'T WANT IT.

DON'T WAAAAAANT IT.

So have fun with your life and stuffs peoples. The next time I post, I will be 22 years old. The same age as Scott Pilgrim.

I'd rather fund piracy than Lady Gaga

This is not an exaggeration. Also, I drew this during my listening class. Ironic, yes?

................... I am going to be so confused when I come back to America.

In other news.

I finally caved in. I couldn't stand my hairstyle that was slowly morphing into David Bowie's hairstyle in Labyrinth.

That movie. Was weird. Is weird.

Thus, Guiliani, Kelsey and I asked Sukie to accompany us to the hairstylists, because none of us knew how to communicate in Chinese how we wanted our hair done.

(I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but female hairstylists are rare in the land of China.)

(Also, I don't feel comfortable having guys touch my hair)

( D: )

Well, three salons later we finally found a place. There was some European dudeman getting his nails done, and Taylor Swift was blasting over head. All in all it seemed promising. [On a sidenote, I'm pretty sure the amount of time it took for all the hairstylists there to style their hair that morning was far greater then the amount of time I've spent on my hair. Ever.]

In case Sukie, our Chinese friend, wasn't able to describe how I wanted my hair cut, I provided my stylist dudeman with a photo and said "Wo yao" (I want). He then proceeded to cut my hair. May I also add this man was a perfectionist. When I thought he had finally finished cutting my hair I thought it looked fine, but nope. He continued to stare at my hair, move the back of it to see how it moved, cut a little bit off, stared at it some more, snipped a bit there, read poetry, studied it some more, rocked out to "It's too late to apologize", cut some more....

You get the idea.

He then proceeded to hairspray it. In my mind I thought "hey, it's raining, he's probably just making sure it still looks good or whatever."

Wrong.

I looked like I just jumped out of an 80's music video when he was done with it. I didn't know my hair was capable of such volume. Once we got out of sight of the salon's front window, I quickly put my hood over my head, hoping the nest on top would settle down.

Crazy volume aside, it was one of the best haircuts I've ever received. Seeing as how it cost 35 kuai (less than 6 dollars) I plan on going back before I leave to get a trim.

Also, I met Heely Boy again today. It was awkward. But we're on a hello basis. So that's cool.

And I've also managed to befriend a small calico that lives outside the apartment. I've named it Xiăo-xiăo. "Xiăo" (pronounced 'shiao shiao') - 小 - means "small" in Chinese. He's really small and slightly dirty, but he's so cute and I feed it whenever I can. The guard who's usually at the entrance to the parking lot is also playing with him a lot.

Oh I should probably mention the title of my post.

I bought a Lady Gaga cd. Specifically a pirated Lady Gaga cd from some back room place in an electronics shop that used a door made out of cardboard to hide its stock from potential police dudemen. We didn't notice the door until we had been in there for 15 minutes. We figured they just lured foreigners there with movies, then killed them.

I'm still alive.

And I own a ton of movies.

Please customs, don't take my movies away from me.

Well, that's all for now. So have fun with your life and stuffs.

That time I met my Soulmate

This is meant to fill the void of a comic I drew. This was taken December 3rd, 2010.

Alright. So, for those of you who don't know, I own a pair of Heelys. The shoes with the wheels in them. No, they're not for children. Yes, you can buy Adult Heelys. No they don't just come in the lame runner shoe model. Yes, you can get them online. Quit asking me where I got them when THE INTERNET exists. Google it.

I would tell you why I got them, but that involves a youtuber you may or may not know of, whose name may or may not rhyme with Robuscus. I never knew adult Heelys for adults existed until I started following his channel... so there. There's the boring story.

Regardless.

I have never, ever, ever ever ever met another person (by person I mean older than 12) who was also wearing heelies. (One of my friends had heelies, but unfortunately he lost the wheels to his, so that dream of heelying about Houghton Campus was quickly thrust deep into the bowels of the earth, straight into the gates of hell).

I will now tell you the story of how I met my potential soulmate/BFFL, and let the oppurtunity crumble through my fingers like the grains of sand that make up our very lives.

It was just like any other night at the apartment. I was just finishing up my homework for Grammar class, when I called Kelsey to see what she was doing for dinner. She informed me that her and Guiliani were both in the mood to eat out at a Korean restaurant down the street, and I told her I would also be up for that. We decided to meet up outside the gate by the International Dorm. Gathering my things in my Totoro backpack, I set off for the elevator (Well in all honesty I was wearing my Heelys, so really I wheeled off).

I pressed the down arrow for the elevator then waited a moment as the elevator stopped at a floor above. As the elevator reached my floor, the doors opened up to reveal a Chinese dudeman, about my age/height on the elevator, with his bike. I saw him kind of look at me, and that entire week people kept looking at me because of my height and I was prepared to tell him I normally wasn't that tall and it was just my Heelys that made me 6 feet tall, but I stopped myself, because he probably didn't know English and if he did I would sound like a crazy person.

Well the elevator finally reached the first floor, and I stepped out first. There being a slight slope outside the entrance to the building, I took the chance to gain some speed and Heely-ed down it. I heard the guy get on his bike and I saw from my periphs that he was about to pass me, when I saw him stop and say something to me. I turned and said "What?" and he pointed at my shoes and said "Heelies". This made me happy. But to tell you the truth, what happened next is probably one of the top 5 coolest things that has ever happened in my life (I don't know what the other four are, but seeing Muse live is one of them, and toboganning down the Great Wall is another).

He proceeded to lift his left shoe, and there, on the heel of his shoe, was a wheel.

He was wearing Heelies.

Then he heelied, with his bike. He was heelying alongside his bike.

I think I was freaking out, but I honestly don't know.

We then began to share where we purchased our respective Heely's. He order his from taobao.com (the Chinese equivalent of eBay) and I told him I got mine from Zappos. He then said something like "American shoe!" and I nodded. Then we just awkwardly stood there, neither of us sure what to say next. Plus I had to meet my friends still. So we departed and he said "Bye!" and I said "Nice meeting you!" But just as those words fell from my mouth, onto the pavement below, it hit me.

How can you MEET someone when you never TOLD THEM YOUR NAME.

D:


If my life was, say a French romantic comedy movie, then I could just leave signs up, asking for the guys name. But 1) my life's not a movie, 2) there are 12 floors above my own, and that's a lot of paper, 3) he might have been visiting someone so he may or may not live here and d) what if he has a girlfriend and my asking his name might be considered creepy in Chinese culture?


So days passed. Seasons changed. Until, five days later, when I had given up all hope....


My and Guiliani were taking the elevator down to go eat lunch, and as we got off the elevator, a boy with his bicycle was waiting to get on.


But,


like an IDIOT


I didn't say anything.


As we were walking away, I cried out to the sky, asking why I was so inept at communicating with other homo sapiens. Then Guiliani mentioned we would be able to find out where he lived if we ran back to see what floor he got off at.


He lives on seventh floor.


Currently, I'm on the sixth floor.


Will we meet again? Who knows.


But that's the story of how I met Heely Boy.


So have fun with your life and stuff.

Welcome to Class 1.4

Children pee in the streets, and people of all shapes and sizes spit. Anywhere and everywhere. Also, may I point out how this comic resembles those pictures where you have to count the differences. This is kind of like that. In the fact that IT'S ALL DIFFERENT.

This comic was hand drawn. This is mostly because I was bored to death last night while waiting two hours in my room for the repairman to fix my toilet. I've been flushing my toilet with the power of bucket water for the past three weeks cause I've been too lazy to go down and ask them to repair it.

I'm happy to announce I can now properly flush my toilet.

Although this afternoon I noticed that my toilet keeps making a sound like I flushed it, when I never did, and all the water in the back tank is gone... so it will probably be another 3 weeks until I stop procrastinating life and ask for help again.

Regardless, this past weekend I went to Beijing. Instead of boring you with details of my trip (WHICH WAS AWESOME), I have a more pressing matter to discuss. One that happened while I was gone.

So usually, when people sit in the same seats for like two months, you'd think they would keep them right? Well, a large portion of my class completely changed their seating arrangements. This is what my class looked like before Beijing.

This is what my class looked like upon my return (I missed three days total).

Sometimes, in class, I imagine shaving off Spanish kid's dreads. You can't go halfies with those. You either have a full head, or none at all. The main reason it looks so awful is because the rest of his head is buzzed. Except for those nine dreads. I know 9 is a symbol of power in China... but I really doubt those are the source of his powers.

Here's what most probably happened.

*cough*

The Spanish girl and the Korean had a budding romance, ever since the Spanish girl (who used to sit where the Stans are) moved to the other side of the room. They fell deeply in love, sharing notes and drinking milk tea under the radiance of the moon.

Meanwhile, the Mexicans had to sit next to each other, because they were obligated to. Their fathers were both into the business of selling pirated copies of The Golden Girls and to quell the fighting that had happened between their families for generations, they sat next to each other.

But slightly younger Mexican had a thing for the 9 dreaded man. His dreads were rumored to contain the powers of all the nine kingdoms of the world, and within each dread lay a hidden kungfu technique. Younger Mexican wanted all of this. But Slightly Older thought this was a childish notion, and told Slightly Younger there were better fish in the sea. Slightly Younger merely scoffed, drawing sketches of him drinking from his water bottle, which he frequently did (probably because he partied every night).

But wait! All this time, it turned out Spanish girl was merely USING the Korean (who claims he's really Brazilian) to make Spanish man jealous! The Korean found out, because one night he walked in on the Spanish girl and Boy holding hands. His heart broken, he moved to the back before the Besties had time to claim their territory.

Then, it was discovered that Spanish Boy was two timing Spanish girl! Slightly Younger Mexican girl had ALSO found a way into his heart! Once the two girls found out, they made sure to keep their knowledge of this hidden from Spanish man, and formed a sacred bond to steal the powers that are contained within each one of his dreadlocks. It's only a matter of time.

African dudeman just moved because there's someone to sit next to.

This might not be 100% accurate, but I'm pretty sure it's 75% accurate. Korean and Spanish girl probably weren't drinking milk tea under the moon. I just added that cause I'm obsessed with this milk tea place, and am determined to stuff the shop in my suitcase when I get back to the states.

So have fun with your life and stuffs people. Til next time.

Purgatory is a Standing Only Train Ride

Before I delve any further into what may have been the most horrendous  transportation experience I have ever had and hope to ever have, I want to share something exciting with you.

I ordered lunch in Chinese, and milk tea in Chinese. The fact I can order pearl milk tea in Chinese (and I even asked for it hot!) makes me so happy, you don't even know.

Alright. Train ride from hell time.

Well this past week was National Week, which is basically China's "independence day". Except instead of it being a day it's a whole week. So everyone goes off traveling into the mountains, or Shanghai, or Temple of Time... but China has a massive population. So imagine EVERYONE in China traveling at the same time.

So basically since we didn't have classes this week, me and two other girls in our group (Tayler and Carey) decided it would be a great idea to travel to Xi'an to see the Terracotta Army. I mean, we're in China. Why not? Who knows when we would get to see them again? This was the chance of a life time!

Well we managed to get a sleeper train on the 20 hour train ride there. It was so comfortable, because you're basically just sitting in a bed the entire time. Granted you have to sleep with your stuff by your head cause it's sort of a public area (also, you have to get used to the feeling of people watching you as you sleep... cause they are). But once it got to 11 PM, they turned off the lights in the car and everyone just went to bed. There was a man two bunks up who was snoring like no tomorrow, but luckily I packed earplugs that could drown out even the apocalypse... so I had one of the best sleeps ever. Ten hours passed without my knowing it, cause I was sleeping.

Well we eventually got to Xi'an, and our first order of business was obtaining the return tickets back to Hangzhou. Once we reached the booth, we asked if they had any sleepers.

Then she uttered the most horrible sounding words that have ever reached my ears.

"Only standing. No sitting, no sleeping. Just standing."

That phrase continued to ring in my subconscious as I handed over my 168 RMB. I heard her voice as we went off to do a bit of shopping. As we fell asleep in our hotel beds. Her voice found its way into my dreams, woke me up the morning we had to leave. Was there when I saw the Terracotta Soldiers (don't worry I got some sweet pictures). Then finally. The moment of truth.

The train ride.

First, before I describe it, let me say one thing. In my ignorant world where Matthew Bellamy isn't dating Kate Hudson, and Doctor Who truly exists and it's only a matter of time before I get a chance to travel the galaxies with him, I imagined this "standing car" to look a certain way. I figured it would be a car completely void of seats, or anything. But we would have room to sit. Granted, we would have to sit on out suitcases, but that's alright.

Reality soon crushed that false expectation.

We were sentenced to stand in a car. That had seats. Seats we couldn't sit in. Seats that were already paid for. We had to stand in the aisles. Some people had to sit in the bathrooms (by bathroom, I mean a room with a squatter toilet that opened up to the train tracks. You could only go while the train was moving. Yes it smelled.). There was barely any room in the aisles. Like a foot maybe. A cart with magazines would pass every time we stopped, then every 30 minutes. A cart with food would soon follow. Then a cart with drinks and snickity snacks would soon follow. Then a man selling toys would pass. Then a man who had to lock/unlock the doors (who happened to be somewhat HEFTY mind you) had to pass. Then people who bought ramen had to pass to get hot water. Then people had to pass who wanted to smoke. Soon after, people who had to refill their water bottles. Soon after that, people had to use the bathroom.

Does it sound like I'm being redundant? Cause that's what the 8 hours standing felt like. Luckily we didn't have to stand that entire time because some people got off at a train stop, and offered us their seats. I think they went out of their way to give them to us cause we were girls, we were white, and everyone else who was standing was an older Chinese dudeman. We managed to get slightly more comfortable. But then, the night crawlers settled in.

Nightcrawler (n.)
1. Someone who has been lurking in the corners of the train, waiting for a moment in which a spot in the aisle opens up.
2. Odorous humans who spit, and have no concept of personal space.
3. A homo sapien that may induce vomiting and the inability to consume any food for 9 hours.

It was about midnight. I was just able to get comfortable. Usually my left leg will cramp up really bad unless I'm able to keep it straight (let me remind you that getting up to walk was nigh impossible, because you literally had to step on people to get to the bathroom, then force people who were standing in the bathroom  because there was no other room anywhere else to move out for a moment). I had just curled my legs under my seat because I had them stretched out for a while, when he came. The man with the yellow sack. Don't set that down. Please don't set it down. Then he set down the massive yellow sack to allow a cart to pass. Don't place it horizontal on the floor. I need my leg space. Don't take that away from me in my last 10 hours on this train. He then placed the sack down horizontally, sat on it, and made this horrendous hacking sound and a massive tidal wave of spit gushed forth from his mouth, about 8 inches from my face, onto my floor.

And that was when my appetite left me for the rest of the train ride.

The rest of the ride was basically filled with moments where I thought an hour had to have passed or something. But in reality, it was 2 minutes. Two minutes. Also, what should have been a 20 hour train ride was really a 23 hour train ride. I was beginning to convince myself I would be stuck on that train for the rest of my life, and there was nothing I could do.

But then, outside the window, I saw the word "Hangzhou".

I was home, and this horrible nightmare of a train ride was already beginning to be blocked out with the help of my subconscious.

If anyone ever tries to top that story, I will be forced to unfriend you. Not just on facebook, but in real life.

How to count to ten on one hand!

Here is a blogpost in which I try to be informative. Hopefully you learn something. If you don't, I apologize. I'm a little off today cause I can't seem to buy the November 2011 issue of Q Magazine with Muse on the cover. It's in honor of their 25th anniversary, so they have 25 different issues for November, each issue with a special on the band that's on the cover. Or maybe it's 25 stories on 25 different bands. I forget. But it doesn't matter cause it's not like I'll be able to buy it.

This isn't really the cover of said magazine. Cause I couldn't find it. The epicosity level of this picture though is far greater than the epicosity of the cover I couldn't find. Unless this is actually an excerpt from said magazine which would be AWESOME.

Muse aside, I'm actually listening to K-pop right now. If you want some Cpop, here you go. Secretly, this song is really catchy. At least I think it is.

Also can I just say it should not take five hours to do my laundry. Yesterday when I dropped it off for the laundry peoples to clean it at 10, I figured it would definetly be done by 2, especially since there were only like 3 other baskets of laundry. Well, it wasn't done at 3 when I went. So when I went back at five, my clothes were really warm but also wet, and they all smell weird. Like they're burnt or something. D:

Oh my word I meant for this to be INFORMATIVE.

I think I have a right to say Chinese is one of the hardest classes I have ever taken (except a class I took on John Milton. Yikes dudeman. I think I had a nightmare about it a few nights ago actually). It's one thing to learn a language and be like "oh yea, Buch in German means book. That's easy." Chinese is... cool to learn. But very difficult. To help you fully comprehend my pain, I've compiled a two lists. 

Things I like about Chinese

• Words don't have a gender. So in German you would have different endings or whatever if a word was masculine, or feminine, or neuter (der die das). Chinese doesn't have that (THANK GOD). Sometimes, when I re-remember Latin, I want to fall into a coma.

• Verbs don't change. So if I were to say "you go", "ni qu" (I'm not gonna bother putting in tone marks, but they have tones, just be aware.) "I go"= "wo qu" "she/he goes"= "Ta qu". I forget what the word for they is, but you'd still us "qu". It never changes.

• "Ta". It means "she" and it means "he". In written form it's not confusing, but I think this is nice.

• Sentence structure is simple. And they don't have a lot of filler words like "of" or "an" or "the". "Ni hao" literally means "You good". "Wo qu fandian ma?" literally means "You go restaurant?"

Things that are horrible about Chinese

• So first, you learn the word in pinyin (written form). Then you learn its meaning. Then you learn its character. Japanese also has a lot of characters, but if you know at least 1000 you can read a paper easy. Korean has 26 characters. Chinese? Well you need to know at least 6000 characters to read a newspaper. It's said that there are over 80,000 Chinese characters, but many of them are rarely used. What's even more difficult is the amount of strokes in some of the characters. Egh.

• Tones. Are. Awful. "ma" with a dipping tone means horse, while "ma" with the same high tone means mom. I would like to take this chance to mention that apparently there's like 8 tones in Thai. I will never learn Thai. Ever.

• The way English speakers would pronounce some things in English, isn't the same in Mandarin. zh=j, q=ch, r=sh (although to be perfectly honest I'm pretty sure they pronounce the r differently everytime they use it. Sometimes it sounds like "shr" other times "r" or just "sh". I don't understand.) c=ts, x=sh, er= sounds like the "ar" in a pirate-y "argh!", yi=ee (as in eek), wanr= the n is silent so it sounds like you're trying to say "water" without the "te" in it. 

• Remember earlier how I mentioned that "book" in German is "Buch"? Well, there are practically no words in Chinese that sound like English... except for tea which is "Cha", and coffee which is "Kafei".

Now for another informative section, in which I will tell you how to count to ten in Mandarin. Not only in Mandarin, but also with ONE HAND. WHOA.

一 yī (one)
二 èr (two)
三 sān (three)
四 sì (four)
五 wǔ (five)
六 liù (six)
七 qī (seven)
八 bā (eight)
九 jiǔ (nine)
十 shí (ten)

You can do "3" the way it is in the picture, but another way is by making a sort of "ok" sign by bringing your thumb and pointer finger together, creating a circle, but leaving the three other fingers up.

I was really excited, because the day we learned how to count up to ten on one hand, me and Guiliani (another girl in my group) went to Pacman to get dumplings. Well we had to pay and I had given the guy 10 RMB but he didn't know how much my food was, so I excitedly made the sign for "8" with my hand, but like an IDIOT I said it in English. I was so mad at myself. I mean he understood me, but I keep saying things in English when I can just as easily say them in Mandarin.

Well, that's it for now. Next week is the national holiday, so I have no idea when I'll be posting things yet. I will also be going to Xian to see the Terracotta Army. We're taking a 20 hour sleeper train ride, cause it's up by Beijing. We'll only have a day and a half there, then have to take the 20 hour sleeper back, but will it be worth it? YES. 

TOTALLY.

WORTH IT.

RUSSIANS ARE READING MY BLOG?

• I'm feeling lazy. So I thought I'd try to be creative.

• This might get on my nerves after a while.
• And yes, you might have guessed from the title of my post, but according to the stats of my blog I have received two views from Russia recently. And this makes me so happy.
• In other news not related to China but totally related to Muse, I found this cover of their song Newborn that made me realize I will never accomplish anything musical. Ever.

Things that are starting to bug me in China.

• Getting stared at.
• My speaking class.
• Getting stared at.
• You encounter a variety of smells here. 90% of the time it's death. But I'm getting used to it. Also, I'm recovering from a cold. The cold helped clog my ability to smell, which was nice. But alas, it won't last forever. Whoa. That was weird. I was looking out the window for a moment and swore I saw Ezio crouching on the corner of a building. Anyways.
• Being stared at. I wear my heelies more often now just to give them something to stare at.
• Also recently, I keep falling asleep to the sound of cats fighting. I woke one morning from the sound of a defeated cat screaming out in pain at 5:45am in the morning. I thought I was dreaming. It was awful. I also dreamt of a green jaguar. The cat not the car.

Things I like

• Chopsticks. They make so much more sense.
• This tea drink I've been buying lately. I don't know what it's called cause it's in Chinese, but it's pretty good.
• A milk tea place me and my friends found. It's so good. They make the best bubble tea. I've realized I can't get it for my classes, cause I drink it so fast and have to pee within the first 15 minutes, and class lasts like an hour and a half.

• See what I did there? Also, whilst looking for Matthew Bellamy photos I found a ton of Kate Hudson photos. I promptly barfed. Not in real life. Just in my head.
• I love this food called matuan. It's delicious. I had it for breakfast. I had it for lunch. I want to make them when I get back. It's probably impossible. But I will find a way.

• It's getting colder. I love the cold.By colder I mean it's like 75 degrees Fahrenheit now.
• I love Chinese food. The only thing I really miss is coffee. Real coffee. Not instant. Apparently coffee the way we (Americans) make it is... well... an American thing. WHY must the ONLY THING that MATTERS be AMERICAN?!
• I'm wearing heelies right now. And I love that.
• Seeing one star in the sky is exciting. Really.
• My listening class. The teacher is funny.
• My Chinese name. It's hilarious.
• I'm sure there's something else but I can't think right now.
• The science museum we went to in Shanghai.
• This bracelet I bought in Shanghai WHICH I FORGOT TO WEAR TODAY? WHAT?! NO!

Things you should know

• Never buy a pizza here. It takes longer to make than steak. I don't know why it does, but last night we waited two hours for this kid's pizza to come out, and we had all already finished our food. One time, when we got pizza from pizza hut, we waited a while even then (although not two hours) but this OTHER kid's pizza "broke", so we had to wait for them to make another one. Which took forever.
• I just started the sixth season of Doctor who. Which means I will have caught up. I guess I can always rewatch seasons with the tenth doctor.
• Chinese people don't wear hoods. I was talking to these two Chinese girls, Jenny and Rachel about it, asking them cause I noticed no one ever had a hood up or anything. They promptly told me Koreans do that. Not the Chinese.
• The hair stylists here are all male. I don't want a guy cutting my hair, but it's apparently considered taboo for a girl to touch a guys hair, plus a guy can work longer cause he doesn't have the possibility of getting pregnant. Psh.
• I wear a backpack now.
• I figured out what I'm doing for Houghton's Spot when I come back in the spring. Will it be awesome? I dunno. You tell me after you've seen it. Give me like 5 months. 6? Hopefully I won't slip on the Roth hill like last time while heelying down its icy slope, thus spraining my finger. Which is still crooked and ugly. But minor details.
• I haven't played the piano in like a month. I need to find one. Somewhere.
• The drain in my bathroom smells. D;
• I like my internship. I work at a magazine/newspaper place. I did I mention that yet? Well now I did.
• I wrote a poem recently. Which I won't share. I just felt like I should include that on this random list of shenanigans that happens to Brittany. Or should I say Wei Li. Wei Jian Li to be exact. Is that my Chinese name? What could it mean? If you're friends with me, just look at my alternate name on facebook. Copy it into a translator. Laugh. Rinse and repeat.
• Agh I should really be studying my grammar for my dictation tomorrow. By that I mean I have to memorize like 20 Chinese words (pinyin and character).
• I can get a hair cut here for 16 Yuan. So 2 dollars. Jealous? Well you could always fly out here and get one yourself.
• I don't know what else to write.
• The bullet train we took to Shanghai was really smooth. We didn't even realize we stopped at one point actually and thought we were still moving, and the movement outside we thought was a tree was actually a person, boarding the stationary train.
• We ate at this place tonight that sold smiley fries. They were delicious. I also ate a fish eye. It tasted like a soft jaw breaker, at least that's how Justin, the garbage disposal described it. He ate the other eye. And the brain.
• I bought toilet paper in bulk. I know you wanted to know that. DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF.
• And that's all. For now.

Have fun with your life and stuff peoples.

Lady White and the Mid Autumn Festival

So in case you haven't noticed. I am a horrible blogger. I didn't mean to write what I wrote about two days ago. I meant to share a folktale that takes place in Hangzhou, specifically the West Lake. But I did I. No. Also, the Mid-Autumnal Festival was this past weekend. Did I even so much as mention that? No.

So sorry about failing.

Alright. So. The story from West Lake. Just to let you know, it's Hangzhou's equivalent to Romeo and Juliet (which we all know just ended so well), and the story is set during the Song Dynasty, when Hangzhou was the capitol of China. Also, if you really want to know, Leifeng Pagoda is actually the pagoda me and my friends went to two weekends ago.



I thought about rewriting it myself, but I actually just found a pretty decent retelling of the story. In some versions Xu (the man known as Blue) and Bai (Lady White) met when Xu was just a boy, and he had actually saved her life. But apparently that was added on or something. So his retelling of it is fairly accurate. So please go to this site to read about "The Legend of the White Snake".

Now. Mid-Autumn Festival, or rather, Mooncake Festival.

For those of you who don't know, tt's sort of like the Chinese equivalent to our Thanksgiving holiday. The festival is always held on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar, so sometime in September or early October.

It's meant to celebrate the end of the fall harvest, and the main food everyone eats are mooncakes.


They're actually really good. Well, okay to be perfectly honest there was this one kind that made me want to gag. I think it was the worst thing I've ever tasted. And I've tasted a lot of weird things. But I had one that looks like the mooncake to the far right in the picture above, and I think it was my favorite. It had an egg in it or something. Sometimes they fill mooncakes with meat, or bean paste (everything is bean paste here. Don't get something just cause you think it looks like chocolate. Twelve times out of ten it will be bean paste, not chocolate. It's never chocolate). But like I said, they're pretty good. Just avoid the ones that have an especially dark color.

There's also a legend that's associated with the Moon Festival. So I'll tell it to you. Or write it to you. Cause my computer can't transform me into a hologram.

Chang'e and Houyi the Archer
Chang'e and her husband, Houyi, were immortals that lived in heaven. One day, the ten sons of the Jade Emperor had transformed themselves into ten suns, scorching the earth. Because his sons would not stop even after he ordered them to, the Jade Emperor asked Houyi for help. With bow and arrow in hand, Houyi shot down the nine sons, sparing only one son to provide light to earth. The Jade Emperor, displeased with Houyi's violent solution to stopping his sons, banished Houyi and Chang'e to earth, to live out their days as mortals.


Having lost her immortality, Chang'e became extremely miserable. Houyi, concerned for his wife and wanting to see her smile again, began on a long and perilous quest to find the pill of immortality so the two of them could once again be immortals in the celestial plane. He finally met the Queen Mother of the West who agreed to give him the pill, and told him each person would only need half the pill to be fully immortal.


Bringing the pill home, he stored it in a case and told Chang'e not to open it. He then left home for a little bit. Chang'e, her curiosity getting the better of her, opened the case and found the pill just as she heard Houyi return home. Afraid that Houyi would catch her discovering the pill, she accidentally swallowed the entire thing. Because she swallowed all of it instead of only half of it, she began to float into the sky, eventually landing on the moon, where she would live for the rest of her days as the Goddess of the Moon.


So yea. That's what I've been meaning to write/tell you about. Hope you appreciate it.

In other news, everyone here smokes between classes, so merely leaving the building during the 30 minute break is probably taking minutes if not years off my life. Oh you Europeans, smoking. Sure, you may think you look cool now, but just wait until they have to cut a hole in your throat and you lose you ability to speak on your own and have to sound like a robot. I'm sure that will attract all the ladies. Or men. Depending on who you are.

That reminds me. Here, the bathrooms don't have a security wall that's usually in boys bathrooms. So yes, I did see a guy, his back turned, using a urinal. It was great. Awesome even. Superb.

Also they told us if we're late 40 minutes, it's the equivalent to missing 2 classes. So why come into class at all? Some kid today came in late, and that's all I could think about.

In other news someone called me a foreigner in Chinese, "laowai". But that's all they said when I passed. Thank you old Chinese dudeman. If I knew more Chinese I would have said yes, but I don't even know that. The Chinese language is very different from English. A lot simpler actually. They don't have male/female/nuetral forms of words or articles. Thank God. I hated that in German and Latin. Ugh. Dear Lord. The Latin. Endings in Latin are horrible, even if it's not spoken. It's horrible. HORRIBLE.

So have fun with your life and stuffs people. Until the next time I decide to actually tell you something about China.

Chinese classes went great

So I'm currently on season 5 of Doctor Who. I do like Matt Smith, but I for realz really miss David Tennant. I think he was by far the best Doctor. Eccleston just... seemed lame. I don't know. He didn't have what Tennant had.



I would keep going on and on, but the majority of people who read this probably don't watch Doctor Who, so everything I would say would just go over your head. I might as well just be talking to myself. Or a big stupid monkey.

In other news, my classes started yesterday. I wish I could say it was wonderful, and that I comprehended the Chinese language right away and am now fluent. However, if you live in reality and would like an accurate portrayal of what I felt like by my third class yesterday, then here you go.



You see, in our first class (listening) we had to get up in front and introduce ourselves, which really wasn't all that bad. Sort of weird, but not horrible. We had 10 minutes to kill, so our teacher taught us the tones. Then by the second class (grammar) we went over some words and stuff, and in the last 20 minutes we went over tones. Then by the THIRD class (speaking) we spent the ENTIRE hour and thirty minutes reviewing the four tones. It was worse then being stuck on a purgatory island. It was dreadful. I envisioned running from the room screaming. I kept moving around in my chair. You looked at the time, and realized you had only an hour left when it felt like forever had already passed you by. I was hoping the Daleks would suddenly decide to invade earth. Cyber men. Giant babies. Anything.

However, nothing of the sort happened. I took a three hour nap afterwards. Then I found out I had an article due tomorrow for That's Zhejiang. I'm very happy I knew about this well in advance.

In other news, I'm getting sick of people staring at me. I like to wear my sun glasses, just because it gives me an excuse to stare back. Maybe some of you think it's wonderful that people would stare at you so much, and that Chinese people seem to think Westerners are so beautiful while they themselves are not. But when you think about it, it's almost racist. Placing people of white color on such a high pedestal. I hate it actually. There's a lot of white people in advertisements, and at first it's comforting to see white people, even if it is in advertisements, but then I realize I'm in China, and for them to see that, it's the equivalent of us having to look at skinny models who never eat everyday in our advertisements.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't white. But that is probably also racist. I wish there wasn't a minority. I wish everyone was on equal terms. I wish people would stop staring at me cause I'm white.

And by stare, I don't mean casually glance. I meant you're just walking down the street, and the person ten yards in front of you stares. And they don't STOP staring at you until they've walked a good couple of feet past you. 

Anycrap, I need to practice writing some Chinese characters for class, so I should probably go. Also, I realized I've been here almost three weeks. I'm supposed to be keeping a journal for my intercultural studies advisor and write a journal entry every four days. So I should have at least written five entries.

How many have I written you ask?

Well it's the equivalent to the number of great works of literature Stephenie Meyer has written.

By that I mean NONE.

I would write more, but I can't focus. Also my hands can't seem to type properly today, and I sort of want to throw my keyboard into the fires of Mount Doom every other word.

So I'll end with this video that combines two loves of mine. And you thought I wasn't going to mention Muse at all, didn't you? ALSO APPARENTLY THERE IS A DOCTOR WHO EPISODE WHERE A MUSE SONG PLAYS. JUST THOUGHT I WOULD MENTION THAT.

ME. EXCITED. NEVER.

But this song is pretty good, except I don't like the intro part with Uprising when the alien tune from Uprising is playing at the same time the alien tune from the Doctor Who theme is playing. It should be one or the other. Besides that it's pretty alright.

Procrastination Initiated

Guess what I'm doing?

Procrastinating.

And I'm quite good at it.

Like I just spent about 30 minutes trying to find a decent Doctor Who quote to put in my facebook status.

Time well spent.

Ok, to be honest, I should be writing an article for my internship at That's Zhejiang. These two British guys (one's in charge of the paper version, and one's in charge of the magazine version) are sort of our bosses I guess? Anyways, Taylor and I both thought our first day would just involve us editing other people's articles. Then we found out, since we're "newbies" to Hangzhou, they want our first impressions of the city. Or an outsider's view. Fresh stuff.

So long story short, I've got 154 words out of the 300 word minimum.

I know, I'm halfway there, whoaaaa...


I'll tell you what I wrote about if it gets published. Don't worry, I'm not feeling any pressure. Especially since there's only like what, 6 million people who live in Hangzhou and could potentially be reading this?

Psh. Whatevs dudeman.

In other news, I bought three books at this massive bookstore called Booku for 98 Yuan, so 16 dollars? I think? Yea? I realized I have like nothing to read. So I figured a 1000 page volume one of Sherlock Holmes stories would help solve this dilemma.

In other news I just finished episode 12 in season four of Doctor Who. I might be borderline obsessed, mostly because I've been watching it so much, and also because the past few episodes have been SO GOOD. I think Catherine Tate (or Donna Noble as she's known in the show) is probably my favorite companion thus far. Martha just... I dunno. Annoyed me somehow. And Rose was pretty cool, but I think I only liked her in the most recent of episodes she appeared in. I must say I'm slightly jealous of her and her life. In the show.

Spoilers? Don't worry.

Did I even mention anything about China?

Well I have a phone. We went to a museum today. I'm currently sitting in the apartment alone, and it's midnight. And I should really finish this article. I've probably written more than 300 characters already. Blimey.

Oh and the moon festivals in like four days, so I should have something exciting to report. Did I mention we're going to a theme park? We were all excited, cause we're going for free cause this other newspaper whose name has escaped me that writes a lot about international shenanigans is taking westerners out on the 11, because well it's the tenth anniversary of 9/11. Although none of us are sure if theme park means rides, or the opposite of rides. I tried looking it up on google, but I kept getting hotels. And I'm pretty sure we're not going to a hotel.

Alright, I'm gonna stop procrastinating and looking up Muse videos on youtube and funny moments of various shows I love.



Alright. New tidbits.
-You can't flush your toilet paper, but must throw it away.
-Exit signs here are green.
-I ate my dinner in a dark alleyway. I'm pretty sure it was because I was white. Also, the restaurant (which we've called Pacman for the red Pacman sign out front) was crowded.
-All the coffee here... is instant D:

So have fun with your life and stuffs. Until next time. When I write something worthwhile.

The Furious Eight

Sorry. I just really like Simon's Cat, and he recently brought out a new video, so I felt inclined to share it.

You know what I love even more than that though?



Alright, I feel like maybe I should introduce the people I will be studying abroad with. Or rather, am studying abroad with. At least, in the way I imagine them. If I was artistic I would draw cartoon versions of them, complete with the captions I've created for them. But I'm not.

The Guys
Balasz, the Foreigner
Peter, the 31 year old
Justin, the garbage disposal

The Girls
Guiliani, lover of Korean dramas
Kelsey, the kung fu artist
Taylor, the Sigourney Weaver look-a-like
Carey, the Backstreet Boys groupie

We just recently found out Peter is 31. None of us had any idea. Balasz is 24, so we though he was the oldest in the group. Until Friday night, when it was discovered that Peter was the oldest in our group. Everyone's mind was blown. We thought he was 24. He doesn't even look 31. You want to know who else is also 31?


Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Alright, here's the part where I say something about China.

Today is my first day at my internship. If I had a Tardis I could easily have come back in time to tell you how it went. However I am not the Doctor. Although I am currently in the fourth season, specifically episode 6. Also, the tenth doctor bears a close resemblance to a certain lead singer of a certain UK band.

Alright China.

CHINA.

I WILL WRITE ABOUT CHINA

Well, to be honest there's too much to write about.

I say that all the time, but I'm being for-serious here. I'm also busy half the time, and I haven't written my blog in a while, and I sort of forgot to write to my parents for a week because the internet wasn't working and we were busy... so I probably won't get daughter of the year cause they probably thought I was dead on the corner of a street somewhere.

So because I fail-boated, and haven't written in a week, here's a succinct version of my weekend, followed by a brief recap of the previous week.

Saturday. Went to West Lake. Walked around for 3 hours cause I can't read a map. Found Leifeng Pagoda. Spent 40 RMB and climbed it. Got some pictures of West Lake. Hailed and took a taxi for the first time in my life. Went to some section of town where kids were learning how to roller blade. Kelsey was invited by her Chinese friend August to help promote something. So me, Kelsey, and Guiliani went. Found out that, in Chinese, they were promoting their school to parents, telling them we were the teachers. We then got paid 100 Yuan.

Earlier last week. Went to a Tea House. Ate a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Apparently people stay there all day. Did laundry cause I was running out of clean underwear/socks. Went to a restaurant the next day, where I got a free sandwich cause the waiter couldn't remember who had ordered it. It was a veggie sandwich. Tasted like a tatter tot between two pieces of bread. My friend Kelsey dropped a slice of pizza on the table. I grabbed it, telling her there were starving children in China. Then I got excited cause I realized I was talking about myself.

Um. None of that is exciting. This is a very poorly planned blog post. So sorry about that. I'M BUSY ALRIGHT. JUST DEAL. Next time I promise the post will make more sense, and be more interesting. Actually like an hour after I post I always think of a bajillion better things I could have written about. Then I forget about those bajillion ideas the next time I post. I promise I'll try to think the next time I write.

In the meantime, here are some interesting tidbits
-Everyone air dries their clothes.
-They like weird flavored things. Like blueberry chips.
-Many children start to learn English at the age of 3.
-Old people here are much more, respected I guess you could say. At least, the old people here don't scare me like in America. I don't know how to describe it. Like I feel like because of the way Americans are it's easy for the elderly to just not to anything all day and slowly lose themselves, but here everyone is active. Like super active.
-Not everyone has a dog here. I don't think a lot of people have pets actually. I've only seen maybe three people with dogs since I've been here?

I forget what else I've written in the past. But last night I saw a pretty bright star, and that makes the fifth star I've seen so far since I've been here.

So have fun with your life and stuffs peoples. Until next time.

Satoshi

Today, we visited a bookstore. To sum it up, I bought a J-Pop CD, and the first volume of Pokemon in Chinese. I can't read anything in Chinese. However another girl in our group Kelsey (who understands enough Chinese to read it a little bit) just informed me that Ash's name in the book is Satoshi. Hence the naming of this post.

You're welcome.

I know you are dying to know, and yes my "Tohoshinki Single B-Side Collection" is basically everything I wanted it to be and more. I was slightly disappointed, cause the CD I originally wanted had a far superior album cover (the five of them appeared to be jumping in midair, hands posed to attack an unseen enemy to the audience's left) then the one I ended up buying. However, that CD only had like 4 songs on it and was 42 Yuan (divide that by 6 and that's how many US dollars it is) and the CD with the boring cover I bought has 12 songs and cost 37 Yuan.

I did manage to snap a photo of the album cover, however it won't upload. I've tried like a bajillion times, which is surprising if you know how lazy I can be.

Lazy (noun)
1. When one could be achieving something that may improve their life, but they are too "tired".
2. Another word for achievers. Because they're willing to let others achieve things.
3.

Did you see what I did there?

TWANSITION

Oh Tobuscus. How I'm not watching you even here. And by watching I mean not stalking.

Behind the bushes.

Lurking.

That shadow movement?

Me.

Whoa. Ok off topic.

I also had an interview for an internship. And by interview I mean "Let's tell you what you'll be doing here even though you never gave us a resume but since you know English and are with Central College we'll still accept you. So now even though you never put ANY effort into this AT ALL you will still appear far superior to your peers when applying for a job and your potential bosses see that you worked at an internship in China when the other applicants didn't."

So the lesson here is be lazy. It will pay off. Eventually.

But the newspaper is called "That's Zhejiang" and it's just a weekly newspaper, that also has a seasonal magazine. It's just a few blocks down so I could either take the bus OR ride a bike. The fact that I potentially get to ride a bike in China excites me far more than you realize. Although this might mean I'll die in some horrible bike related accident. But you only die once dudeman.

Oh dear, there's so much more to report, but I'm probably losing your attention span. So here's a list of cultural differences I've noticed in the 6 days I've been here.

-In restaurants they don't serve all the food at once.
-Chinese don't buy a lot at once like Americans. (e.g. in Walmart, the most I saw anyone buy was maybe like 5 things)
-Boyfriends will hold the girls purse.
-When you buy something, always be conscious of making it easier for the other person to give you back change (e.g. you buy something that's 6 Yuan, give them 11 Yuan).

Also, I had pigeon this morning. With noodles. It was quite good actually. Once again, I took a picture of it. But, oh wait, that's right. The picture refuses to upload. But it's a pigeon wing. I actually wanted quail, but they had run out of it.

In other news I'm super pissed that the Leeds festival, which happened this past weekend, which MUSE was AT MIGHT have been their BEST CONCERT since their performance at Le Zenith. It was complete with NOT ONLY their "We are the Universe" intro BUT ALSO "What's he building in there" WHICH THEY HAVEN'T USED IN LIKE 10 YEARS. AGH. If anyone happens to know of someone who happens to be in possession of the Tardis, lemme know.

Also, in case you were wondering, "xiexie" which means "thank you", canNOT mean whatever you want it to mean. Not like I accidentally bumped into somebody, and knowing like two Chinese words muttered "xiexie" accidentally thinking it meant sorry but really it means "thank you".

So, have fun with your life and stuffs people. Until next time.

So I understand the Chinese driver stereotype now....

Dear Lord. I never understood why people always said that Chinese peoples are terrible drivers. But coming to China. I now understand. Like today, we rode a bus from the West Lake to a McDonalds near Zhejiang campus, and there are four lanes on both sides right? Well our bus was in the far right lane. Now in America you wouldn't be allowed to turn left in that lane. But our bus turned left. Also, cars will go into lanes with on coming traffic to bypass cars that are slow or stopping for some reason. But they will use their horns so it's ok.

Basically, I hope I never have to drive in China ever.

However crossing the street can be terrifying. Today our group played a real life game of frogger. And it was terrifying.

On a completely different note, I've had some weird dreams since I've been in China. I blame this largely on the heat. For example, I had this dream where I went to the bathroom, and suddenly realized my toilet had been moved, and the ONLY possible logical explanation was because a serial killer had snuck through my bathroom window. And as I tried to move to escape, it was at that point in the dream when you start to wake up so you sort of move slowly, and I could see the killer coming at me from my periphs... then I woke up.

Although that's not as bad as my plane ride to China. I kept going in and out of consciousness, and at one point I woke up, and could not for the life of me figure out why I was on a plane, and why there were so many Asians around me.

I also watched Kung Fu Panda 2 on the plane. Not as good as the first. Actually, I completely forget how it ends, and I think that's mostly because I was half conscious.

Also I'm proud to say I haven't used a fork yet. Not like that's an option. But still. I'm proud of myself even if you aren't at all.

Speaking of food. This kid in our group ate the head of a chicken yesterday. Brains and eyes and all. For those of you wondering, he described the brain as tasting like mashed potatoes. For those of you also wondering, yes I lost my appetite.

They serve the heads of animals with a lot of things. Mostly duck or chicken.

And dang. I had no idea how cheap stuff would be here. Like one US dollar is the equivalent to 6 Chinese Yuan. The average bottle of water or soda here is 3 Yuan. So I'm gonna be way cheaper than I normally am when I come back to the States.

Although to be perfectly honest, it's slowly hitting me that I'm actually in China. I feel like I'm just in some city's Chinatown, and I'll turn the corner and be able to read the signs again. I just can't wait for my classes to start on the 13th, because this whole not knowing any Chinese thing is getting slightly annoying.

Oh, and I'll end this blog with this. The street cleaners here sound like an ice cream truck, and they usually play the birthday song.

Alright now for realz I'm gonna stop. Cause I could probs write like a bajillion things right now. But I honestly don't feel like it. It's sort of tiring. Also I have to keep a journal for Houghton, and one for the program I'm in, and keep in contact with my parents.... so... much.... writing....

That one scene with the orc

Yep. I lied. Although only three of you know what I'm talk-sorry- WRITING about. Because only three of you read my last post.

Which is cool. I guess.

Didn't realize I was that boring.

Or maybe that just means no one stalks me?

Which is totally cool or whatever.

Anycrap.

Here's this horribly drawn comic inspired by this time I watched the entire extended version of LOTR (for like the infinity-ith time) with the people I lived with over the summer one weekend. And by weekend I mean almost a week.


Yea. This has nothing to do with pre-China jitters.

I just don't know what to feel.

Although I DO feel like a broken record. I think I've told the same thing a hundred times the past week. "Yes I'm going to China." "Four months." "With Central College." "Studying Chinese." "No I don't know Chinese." "Yes I am a Lost fan." "Team Harry Potter."

Alright so not all of those are actual answers, but you get the point. It's just weird. Sometimes it hits me. I'm going to China. Then other times I expect that on the eve of my leaving, say, while my friends are throwing me a party before I leave for Asia, suddenly my ex (which I don't have, but in this alternate universe let's just say I do) shows up. Let's say this ex and me happened to share a fun day at some theme park, and the same tape we happened to tape ourselves on is also being used to tape that night's party's events. Suddenly, a giant monster that had been woken up by a satellite that hit it the same day we were at said park, wakes from its slumber and suddenly attacks NYC, killing my brother and all my friends. Well. Let's just hope that doesn't happen tonight. Or now.

On an entirely different note, watching movies like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Mulan, and Kung Fu Panda probably isn't the best way to learn about a culture. But that is what I've been doing. ("Really Brittany? You mean they don't sing and dance about how they are men over there?") However, don't be alarmed, because I had to write a ton of papers for some pre-depature class in Houghton about China. Not like I know everything. But I probably know more than the average person.

I just hope I'm not the cliched loud America. Agh. That is the least of the things I want to be.

However I am bringing my Heelies in the hopes that I can Heely across the Great Wall.

If you be hatin', it's just cause you be jealousin'.

Agh. So much rambling. BUT if you really want to know, I'm just going to stay up all night, because I have to leave at 4am to make it to Newark, which means I would have to wake up early to shower and crap, and what's the point when I have a day's worth of flights ahead of me, all of which I could be sleeping on?

So now, f'realz, the next post WILL be from China. Hopefully I will be able to access this site. If not just wait like four months THEN I will post like crazy.

So have fun with your life and stuff peoples.