Update! Blog name change!

After some thought... I've come to the decision that the name of my blog needs to change.

Last year, I created this blog figuring it was an easier way of recounting my travels in China with family and friends. I chose the name "Chasing Starlights" because it's based off of a Muse song, "Starlight", and I thought it sort of had a "traveling-esque" feel to it (also I'm obsessed with Muse, but minor details).

However, I've recently realized that every other person in the world also thought that naming their blog "Chasing Starlights" wouldn't be cliched at all.

Therefore, to avoid competing with the blogs of hormonal teenagers across the world... I've decided I'm changing the name of mine to "Delineations of a Dork".

I'll have an actual blog post soon. It's sort of hard to blog when, well, there's nothing to blog about. I've spent my entire week watching shows like "Bridezillas" and "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera". Nothing life changing there.

Why, Paolini. Why. ; _ ;

You know what book I'm horribly disappointed by? Inheritance by Christopher Paolini (which I actually mentioned I was excited about a while back. Oh past Brittany, you clearly knew nothing). I mean, it's got friggin' DRAGONS. HOW can one mess that up?!

This is not a dragon from Paolini's universe. It's actually a dragon from the
Game of Thrones universe. Not like that's a show I watch. Pfff. No. Not this guy.

Well, in a variety of ways:

1.) Every interaction between all the characters feels forced, especially the love related ones. They make me want to gag. If Paolini's version of love was reality, humanity would have ended with the start of existence. Adam and Eve would have been the only humans. Ever.

2.) Paolini goes through a multitude of ways to make a passage as boring as possible. I don't want a whole chapter that describes Katrina washing laundry and Roran eating some boring stew. I want magic. MAGIC. And DRAGONS.

3.) When I'm reading something, and I fail to feel anything for a character when he/she dies... well. Maybe I'm not supposed to feel anything? Cause clearly said character is actually a robot, judging by their emotions and the emotions others share for him/her..

4.) The book is 849 pages long. I'm only on page 218. I'm not even halfway there, and I'm barely living on a prayer. I'm pretty sure if Paolini bothered to edit his book and take out all the filler (e.g. pages of walking through barracks, Eragon reading all the time, some minor character having a child for 20 pages which will probably contribute in no way shape or form to the overall plot of the book judging by past experience, the stew eating, etc.), his book would probably be closer to 200-300 pages. Unfortunately, he didn't. I guess that's what happens when your family owns a publishing company.

I don't understand. I remember being so absorbed into Eragon (the first book) that I wanted to be a Dragon Rider more than anything else in the world. I wanted Eragon to exist and be my friend. I wanted to live in Alagaesia. However, I did read that when I was 15, about the same time I read Twilight and liked it (Something I'm not proud of. Past Brittany. Good thing we are separated by time. Or I would punch your face in). I think that alone speaks volumes.

That being said, I'm taking a break from books right now. I feel like I'm overly cynical in regards to anything I read, and I'm aware of this while I'm reading, and therefore unable to comprehend/get into whatever it is I am reading. I blame this mostly on the classes I took for my English major, in which I was forced to read books I may or may not have liked (I'm mostly thinking of my seductive fictions class. You'd think that, with a title like that, the class would have been riveting. Well, if you find four hour documentaries that explicitly explain the process of photosynthesis exhilarating... then this class would have been perfect for you).

Instead, I've been filling up my time viewing shows I've been meaning to watch. I finished both seasons of The Walking Dead in 2.5 days. The writing in that show is awesome (meaning: "I felt so much emotion at the end of some episodes I had to take a break and watch something cute and furry on YouTube"). Also, I found out a season into it that my Mom has been a fan of the show since day one. WHO. AM. I. ; _ ;

Also (tangent), I recently started playing Dead Space 2, and thought it wasn't going to be scary in the slightest. I was horribly. Horribly. Wrong. My parents/brothers periodically come into my room to make sure I'm not dying, or being horribly devoured by a necromorph, because I keep screaming like the pansy little girl that I am.

Picture originally found here, because I can't draw.
Also, I'm a big fan of PewDiePie now. Mostly because I'm pretty sure
I would have the same reactions to horror games. Because I do.

I mean, if you happened to read Inheritance, and loved it, good for you. I'm just going to take a break from books, because I think good story lines and well developed characters can also be found in television and video games, two genres in which I haven't seen anyone horrendously butcher a storyline involving dragons. Yet.

Just, why Paolini. Why.  ; _ ;

99 Problems and Money is All of It.

So I just finished Mass Effect 2. May I just say that the ending of that game made me more stressed than finals week?! Basically at the end of the game, whatever actions you did previously determines whether or not certain members of your team die. I worked TOO hard and spent TOO much time on missions to gain their loyalty ONLY to have them just DIE in some CUTSCENE. AGH.

[In case you were wondering, no one died. Although I did scream at my game when Garrus was shot (not lethally), and for a moment I thought Tali was going to roll off a cliff, but my character managed to catch her in time. Phew.]

That being said, I need to buy Mass Effect 3. ASAP. (I've heard some people say it's an abomination. But I don't care. I'll make my own judgement. I've already come to terms with the fact that nothing will be as good as ME2. NOTHING.)

(Also, if you're interested, and haven't seen it yet, the trailer for ME3 can be found here. You'll notice I chose the trailer for the female Shepard, not the male one. Pfff. Like I'm gonna save the galaxy as a GUY.)

Potentially buying Mass Effect 3 brings me to my main point.

Money Issues 101

-What do Of Monsters and Men, JayMay, Regina Spektor, Mewithoutyou, Blood Red Shoes, Metric, and Silversun Pickups all have in common? They all thought it would be hilarious to release new music when the only way I can afford it is if I resorted to stealing. I can be a klepto sometimes (I've stolen a lot at Houghton. Weird crap man. Why? Because I could. Really. That is the ONLY reason) but I also believe in supporting bands.

-The past three years, I've worn the same pair of pajamas. Don't worry, I wash them frequently. But three years of constant wear will, well, wear them out. They're gross. I don't have to be scared of monsters at night, because I'm pretty sure they're scared of me.

-Right before I went to China, my mom bought me what are now my favorite pair of shoes. Well now I can't wear them when it's raining out. There is a massive hole in the bottom of each. In fact, this hole continues on through my socks. I also need socks.

-I need to visit my friends in western New York. I consider myself somewhat of an introvert, but that doesn't mean I don't like seeing people every once in a while.

-Asian food store. Thirty minutes from my house. I've mentioned it in a previous blog, but it needs to be known. I will get there. I will find a way. Ain't no mountain too high. River too wide. Valley to low. To keep me. From getting something with Mandarin characters written all over the packaging.

Now I realize my money problems are no where near as bad as other people's money problems, but let's get one thing straight: I hate money. I hate it with a passion. If I could burn all the money in the world in the fires of Mount Doom I would. It bothers me that, in order for me to do anything besides sit around all day, first I require money. I can't go to the library to get the second season of Buffy the Vampire slayer. It's obnoxious. Frick man.

One that note, I'm gonna go play Uncharted 3, which (by the way) practically gave me an anxiety attack last night cause there's this part where you have to escape a burning castle. There were too many close calls, dudeman. TOO MANY. It reminded me of the first time I saw Mission Impossible 4 in theatres and was so anxious during that scene where Tom Cruise is climbing that massively high building in Dubai that I almost threw up. It also didn't help that I was going through reverse culture shock at the time... but still. No movie has ever made me feel that way, and I hope no movie ever will again because I will die of a heart attack. You only die once, and I REFUSE to make my exit off this world in such a fashion.

Graduate they said. It will be fun they said.

Here are some things you should know about me presently:

1) Whenever I have to kill an insect, I wish the main theme from Skyrim would play in real life, and not just in my head.

2) I have no idea why I still use FireFox when it crashes on me constantly. I don't even have that many windows open. I have 3 tabs, FireFox. That's not even a lot. T_T

3) I still need to unpack. Which is difficult when, well, there's no where to put anything. It would probably help if I didn't have a bajillion books, but what can you do man. Sell them. Which is what I'm doing on Amazon currently.

4) There is an Asian food market 30 minutes from my house. I need to visit it in the hopes of getting somewhat authentic pre-heatable jaozi or baozi. However, because I have no money, I simply cry every night.

5) It boggles my mind when guys don't flush the toilet after they pee. I mean, you're staring at it. You are literally staring at your pee. How can you not remember to flush. It's not like the toilet requires a human sacrifice before flushing.

6) Usually, I don't ever remember my dreams. Now, I've been having some pretty trippy dreams. Like last night, I dreamt I was back at Houghton, but me and someone else (she kept morphing into each of my friends, so it was kind of confusing) found this secret passageway to another world similar to the world in Shadow of the Colossus, and met a girl with a giant pet lizard dragon (It was more lizard than it was dragon. If you had my dream you'd understand.) who was the guardian of that world, and we swore to never tell anyone about that place.

7) I wish people would quit asking me what I'm doing now. I basically sit at home in my sweatpants and a crappy t-shirt all day playing video games, watching television, drinking tea, watching K-Pop music videos, and trying to find jobs that won't kill me out of boredom.

I'm tempted to start answering their stupid question like this:

Example A
Person: So what are you doing now?
Me: I just woke up from a very long comatose state, and defeated a computer mainframe with the help of a gun that can create two portals.
Person: ...?
Me: Don't worry. Wheatley's in space now. Humanity is safe.

Example B:
Person: So how's life now that college is over?
Me: I'm now apparently a Dragonborn and recently defeated a frost troll on my way to the Greybeards.
Person: ... Really.
Me: Yea. Lydia was no help, but she's basically my pack mule and carries all the crap I find and hope to later sell. Maybe.

Example C:
Person: So have you found a job yet?
Me: I've created a crack in my wall in the hopes that the Doctor will find me. He will. HE EXISTS.

Maybe people will believe me.

I'll make them believe me.

Although to be honest I'm contemplating making Example C into a real life occurrence.

Goodbyes are the Worst

I hate saying goodbye. After commencement at Houghton College, I was stuck in this state of not knowing whether or not I should say goodbye, or just run as far as I could into the woods where I would never have to say goodbye to anyone ever again.

When I said bye to my study abroad group in China, I thought those would be the worst goodbyes I would ever have to give.

I was wrong.

There are no words I could use to describe the people I've met over the past four years, and you've all changed me in one way or another for the better, and I will miss all of you. Really.

Instead of blabbering on, I thought it'd be better to illustrate the past four years with pictures that appropriately capture my past four years at Houghton. Granted, not every moment with Houghton peoples was photographed, but these are some awesome moments / awesome people.

Sondra telling me the National Anthem was playing from my computer.

 

So freshman year, there were these girls in Lambein who made a "Hot Guy Wall", and I thought it was the stupidest thing in the world.  To retaliate, 3rd New made a "Hot Girl Wall", complete with super attractive photos of everyone who lived on our floor, as well as some of our friends.

Posing with our advent calendar we actually completely abandoned sometime after Dec. 5.

We had an alien party, and Signs may or may not have been involved.

Ryan went through a weird phase. And by that I mean he was acting like himself.

Rach and I censored the ANTM lounge reservation picture.

For said final we pulled an all nighter for, I slept 15 minutes during it,
managed to be the first one done, and still got an A.

I made an entire album on Facebook devoted to these horrible things. Blegh.

The dance party we had that resulted in us getting 2 complaints and a security guard to shut us down.

April Fool's Day freshman year. That's Rachel's bed.

I found a dead bat while cleaning, and asked Kate and Eva for a box to bury it in. Chelsea was there for moral support.

Highlander, pre-college. Agh.

: )

My friend Evan was the editor for the Drawing Board at Houghton, and I won the contest the DB had last year but unfortunately the sketches of myself (or whatever it is I would have won) were lost. So instead he creepily drew what I was wearing that Monday for a presentation in our class and decided not to tell me I was going to be the header for the Drawing Board on Thursday. I found out through Facebook, and had a major freak out moment.

I will miss this.

Last year I was always walking in on my house mates doing weird things. Here, they are working out to Richard Simmons.

This photo deserves a long caption. Here's what I wrote on Facebook:

"Funny story. So that dude, Tyler comes up and starts asking if we bought any CD's from his band, Rookie of the Year. We told him we were an hour late, and missed it. We continued to chat, Em Sach made up a handshake with him, I thumb wrestled him, and Lindsey and Em bought a CD from him. We asked him what his booking agent was, and he said he didn't know. He also told us we could check out his band's MySpace page, but he rarely visited it, but we could just go on his instead. So we got a picture with him. Well, later in the car, Emily Sacher opens up the newest CD, looks at the page with the band members, and Tyler is not there. He is not in the band. He was just a salesperson, and we felt like morons afterwards. I was up for driving back and punching his face in... but the plan didn't fall through."

  

No shave November. I believe Emma never realized I upgraded her poster of Beckham.

I drove all the way to NYC from Houghton for a concert I supposedly won a ticket for. Long story short, I was part of a mob and this is the only picture I managed to get of Matthew Bellamy.

Quidditch World Cup IV in NYC

A girl on our floor freshman year kept clogging the toilets with toilet paper. By clogging, I mean she used a roll and a half, and the toilet would be stuffed to the brim with toilet paper. We didn't understand why, and we all knew it was her. The creepy thing is, I don't think she realized SHE was doing it.

Now I'm going to go back to drowning out my sorrows with Dead Island, Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect 2, Portal 2, and a bajillion other games on my PS3.

It sucks not living with your friends anymore.

Growing Old is Getting Old

When I was young, I wanted to be a number of things. Among them were a: ballerina, explorer, zookeeper, first woman President (don't ask me why, it was a weird time in my life), ballerina teacher, astronaut... etc. That is, until I read the first three Harry Potter books when I was 10. I realized that the summer before my 11th birthday I would probably be getting my owl to Hogwarts. When I didn't get it, I figured I was just going to get it the next summer, because maybe the age cutoff was weird in the wizarding world. When I didn't get it, I just figured I was a squib, because I would much rather be a squib than a muggle.

I feel like when I was younger, I had such a better grasp on what I wanted to do, and was way more motivated than I am now. It probably doesn't help that I played a massive amount of video games during highschool and had the concept of future job possibilities diluted by Final Fantasy characters and the two disc saga that is Tales of Symphonia (I played through that game. So. Many. Times.).

Now that I've almost finished college, I feel like my concept has changed even further. When I was a highschooler, I was super introverted and shy and self conscious and honestly didn't have many friends. I'm still introverted, but not in the same way.

Seeing as how I'm getting way off on a tangent here, I'm gonna go back to my MAIN point.

I'm a senior in college.

I have only a month left.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

But you know what? That's ok. Hopefully, if we're able to find an apartment (WHICH WE WILL.) I'll be living with two of my housemates (Kate and Chelsea. It's gonna be da bomb diggidy) next year, for who knows how long in Rochester. Although I didn't get another job I really wanted  (Wesley ServiceCorps), I also realize if this works out, I'd be super ok with that.

Planning out my life is such a drag. When things just randomly work out (which is basically every moment of my life), that's when I realize It's pointless to plan things out, and just realize things will work out eventually. I mean, a part of me sometimes wishes I could go back in time and talk to my 8 year old self, and ask her what she wants to do with her life. Eight year old Brittany would probably say something like go to the Temple of Time, find the sages, defeat Ganondorf... and you know what? That would be okay with me.

Everyone gets so freaked out about what comes next, and if we're ever gonna see each other again.

Life doesn't end when college ends. I've loved every year at Houghton for various reasons, but I also realize I don't want to spend the rest of my life here. I've grown a lot as a person since I was a freshman, and I'm thankful for that. Although I don't have any definite plans, I know things will work out. Interesting/weird life moments don't have to stop once college does. They'll keep happening.

And when college ends it's not like all your friends just die in a hole or something. I'll still talk to people. People who were important in your life don't just stop talking to you. But sometimes, you have to make the extra effort to keep in contact with those people. Which is exactly why I'm excited I at least get to (possibly. we WILL find an apartment) still continue living in Western New York.

Introverted high school Brittany probably never would have expected to be doing this after college. Eight year old me would have thought I'd be living with my best friend at the time Michelle, because I mean we sketched out a map and everything detailing where our beanbag chair would go.

I don't care that I'm not going to grad school, or have some job rescuing orphaned sea turtles or something. Everyone does something different with their life. I don't care about making a name for myself, all I care about is whether I'm happy. And I can say that right now, I'm happy about who my friends are, who introverted high school Brittany would have been too intimidated to talk to/ let alone be friends with.

I feel fairly confident about what comes after graduation, because life can only get more interesting from here on out.

Embrace Your Inner Geek/Dork/Nerd

There comes a time in every person's life... when this one question crosses his/her mind.

What in the crap do people think of me.

With that in mind, I have this backpack I bought in Beijing, China.

My friend Guiliani took this when we were in Beijing. You have every right to be jealous.

By backpack, I mean "Awesome-backpack-that-will-never-be-as-awesome-as-your-lowly-boring-backpack-that-probably-didn't-cost-you-a-measly-8-dollars-like-mine-did. Whatchya gonna do?! Nothing! Cause your backpack will never be this cool EVERRRRR."

Lately, when I'm walking about Houghton, I keep having conversations that go somewhat like this with passing students/faculty:

Nameless stranger: "Aaww your backpack is so cute?"
Me: "Oh thanks! You love Miyazaki's movies too?"
Potential new BFFL: "Who's that?"
Me: "My Neighbor Totoro? He made it. My backpack is Totoro."
Newfound Enemy: "What's a Totoro?"

And that's where the conversation ends.

I'm realizing... I'm very lucky to have found the friends I've found who do like Totoro, and other dorky things. My friend Rachel gave me a pin a week ago whose logo is from the Watchmen.

Here is visual aid for the less fortunate e.g. you.

Someone saw it and was like:

Stranger: "Cute pin!"
Me: "Oh you've seen/read the Watchmen?"
Stranger: "The what?"
Me: "The Watchmen... this isn't a normal smiley face, there's blood on it."
Yet another enemy who is now staring at me strangely: "Oh...."

I feel like, deep in the recesses of everyone's brains, they're probably thinking "You know, there's someone out there for all of us. I'm sure Brittany will find someone. Someday."

I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY. JUST BE MORE GEEKILY AWARE PEOPLE. GO WATCH AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER OR SOMETHING.

EXPAND YOUR IMAGINATION.