The Tale of Olean Girl

The following story occurred during my freshman year. I believe the girl's real name might have been Emily, but honestly I'm not sure. I think she transferred sometime during my sophomore year. At least, that's the last time me and my current roommate at the time Rachel creeped on her from the cafeteria.

Regardless.

Now the thing you need to know before I delve any further into this story, is that Houghton College is in the middle of nowhere. The nearest anything is 45 minutes away. It is a land of dollar generals and small family owned restaurants

In case you needed an illustration, the green dot is Houghton. The yellow dots are the nearest Walmarts.
The horizontal line is PA, and Canada is creeping in the top left corner.

It was sometime in the evening, and I got a call from my friend Lindsey about how her eye was bothering her, and she really needed to see a doctor. We went to the front desk of Gillette to ask if there was a nurse on campus. Since it was after 5 the health office was closed so we would have to drive all the way to the ER in Olean Hospital (40 minutes away). Since Lindsey couldn't see, I told her to wait in Gillette Lounge while I went to go get my car in the Fire Hall.

What is the Fire Hall you ask? Just a convenient parking lot which required one to trek for miles down the Winding Hill, past the Nerdy Boy's Dorm, over the Bridge of a Thousand Deaths, through the Mines of Moria, and cross the road of turmoil to reach it.

So there I was, looking both ways before I crossed the road, when I noticed there was a girl on the other side of the cross walk who apparently had just dropped her car off. When it was safe to cross, I began to walk, and we were just about to pass each other, when she called out to me.

Girl: "Are you going to Olean?"
(Please keep in mind the darkness- and the fact that there was no one else around. No one. Except maybe a cow a few fields away or something.)
Me (with a confused face): "Yes... why?"
Girl: "Well my phone recently broke and I really need a new one and I really need to go to Verizon."
Me (still confused): "Well, I have to take my friend to the ER-"
Girl (acting like this was a life or death situation): "It's ok! I can just drive with you and walk to the Verizon store myself! I won't be a hindrance at all!"
Me (wondering if she even heard me mention the ER at all in my previous response): "I don't really know, because my friend really needs to go to the ER and I don't know how long it will take or where Verizon is."
Girl (apparently oblivious to everyone's problems except her own): "That's alright! I don't care! I just really need a phone!"

After much back and forth chatter in which I tried not to outright say no because I thought it was obvious that, since my friend had to be taken to the ER all other problems were sort of insignificant at the moment... but this didn't seem to faze her and she essentially demanded I take her to Verizon. So I told her I was going to be driving my car back up to Gillette to pick my friend up, and to meet us there asap.

Then I did what any sane person would do. I made haste back to Gillette, found Lindsey, and told her we needed to get into my car as fast as possible. I then went up to the desk proctor, described this girl to her, and told her that if this girl showed up to let her know I really needed to get my friend to the ER and had to leave.

Lindsey and I left Gillette, got into my car, and I was just buckling myself in and turning on my lights... when I saw her enter the lounge, look at the desk proctor, and look out the window where my car was...

and I got the crap out of there.

Because there were a few things that occurred to me. The reason she was in the Fire Hall, wasn't because she was dropping off her car... she was looking for me, and knew where to look. Granted, the desk proctor probably told her someone was going to Olean, but I would rather believe she was lurking in the ceiling above our heads listening into our conversation.

Also, when someone puts the needs of a phone above the needs of a future ER patient, is that really the kind of stranger you want to welcome into your car? She would of had the perfect vantage point to murder us, or worse.

So the moral of the story is, if some strange girl you've never met before is demanding you take her to Verizon when you need to take your friend to the ER... just run. Run as far as you can, and don't ever look back.