Here, there be 龙

DID YOU KNOW THAT CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI'S BOOK, INHERITANCE, THE FOURTH BOOK IN THE INHERITANCE CYCLE, IS OUT NOW?!

READ AN EXCERPT HERE 

I would buy it here, but I think I might have told my mom I wanted it, and it would probably be the same price as it would be at home (yes people not everything is dirt cheap here, there are some things that are super expensive. I know I'm always talking about cheap things, but I happened to buy a tea cup yesterday for 150 yuan, which is 30 US dollars), and I'm starting to run really low on room in my carry on... so this will have to wait til I get back. Can somebody please read it for me, so I can vicariously live through you. Thanks.

I also tried to see if any of his book signings would take place after I came back to the states... but that's a negative. Why can't I be nerdy... wei shenmeeeeeeee?!

Speaking of dragons, although the western version of dragons looks cool, I think asian dragons are waaay cooler. They're like air snakes or something, and sort of more believable. If dragons are real. Were real. Could be real. Did anyone else see that special about dragons on discovery channel ages ago? Oh you didn't? Me... neither.... *cough*

Regardless, to be completely honest I should really be doing 我的功课(my homework)，but I don't feel like making a sentence using the word "to interpret" or looking up the difference between "有点儿“ or "一点儿“ (they're basically the same thing, just one is used before a noun instead of after). It's just so much wooorrrkkk I'm too lazyyyyy. And we have a dictation tomorrow bleeehhhhhh.

Have I mentioned the difference between Chinese teachers and American teachers? Let me give an example. In school, when I took German, I remember that even though I got the genders wrong on words (like "die" instead of "das") they would still give me credit for having the correct noun after it.

Chinese teachers: if you have the wrong tone mark above the word, it's completely wrong. One stroke is missing from the character? Wrong. Don't have a period 。after your sentence?! 不对！你是不好留学生！FAILURE. YOU ARE A FAILURE TO YOUR COUNTRY, AND YOURSELF. BUT MOSTLY TO CHINA.

I've realized that although I can understand what people are saying, I feel like a little kid who knows how to talk, but doesn't want to. Unfortunately, to get better at Chinese I need to talk. Especially since I only have 二十五天( 25 days) left. Apparently having a Chinese significant other (boyfriend in my case) improves your Chinese vastly. But how do I expect to get a boyfriend in the next 25 days when I never got a boyfriend in the first 21 years (Almost 22! My birthday is in a week!) OF MY LIFE?! HOW?! WHY MUST LIFE BE SO DIFFICULT?!

为什么？！

In other news, I've had this song stuck in my head for like five days.

I keep trying to use this program on my computer that takes the audio from youtube and turns it into an MP3 or 4 or whatever... but it keeps saying file is invalid (MAYBE I'LL INVALID YOUR FACE STUPID PROGRAM).

Whatever man. I wanted it mostly for my playlist I'm already starting on for my trip back to Houghton College, because my OTHER playlist that was TEN HOURS LONG got deleted when they re-imaged my computer. You want to know how long it takes to make another 10 hour playlist?! For-FREAKING-ever! So far, I'm only up to 6.8 hours. So close....


In other other news, yes I managed to celebrate Thanksgiving. And since none of us study abroad students are made of money, and didn't feel like spending a bajillion dollars on turkey (an 8 lb. turkey was over 100 US dollars. To be more exact, 800 kuai. Dudeman. There was like, 12 of us.) we ordered chicken from KFC. We also made pasta, and mashed potatoes, and corn. Since there weren't enough forks, we ate with chopsticks and a giant spoon. I felt like a mixture of cultures as I ate my "American" food in China and cut my chicken with my spoon like I was Thai. Kind of weird.

Also, I'm at that point where, when I'm watching a show, and see the characters making breakfast, or pouring coffee... I lose all focus on the plot and just stare at what they're eating/doing. I miss english muffins. I didn't even realize this until today. I miss being able to blow my nose and my snot not being grey. Flushing my toilet paper. Daylight savings time. The stars.

But when I leave I also realize there will be things I will miss about China. Like Baozi. Or chopsticks. Bus rides. Especially when you take the 79 back from the night market and your bus driver seems to think he's a cab driver and there are no shock absorber things on the wheels, so essentially riding the 79 is akin to riding a roller coaster. Dumplings. With vinegar. So much vinegar. Matuan. Oh matuan I love you. Agh. I'm not ready to leave China yet. NO 25 DAYS. WHY HAVE YOU COME SO QUICKLY. I DON'T WANT IT.

DON'T WAAAAAANT IT.

So have fun with your life and stuffs peoples. The next time I post, I will be 22 years old. The same age as Scott Pilgrim.

I'd rather fund piracy than Lady Gaga

This is not an exaggeration. Also, I drew this during my listening class. Ironic, yes?

................... I am going to be so confused when I come back to America.

In other news.

I finally caved in. I couldn't stand my hairstyle that was slowly morphing into David Bowie's hairstyle in Labyrinth.

That movie. Was weird. Is weird.

Thus, Guiliani, Kelsey and I asked Sukie to accompany us to the hairstylists, because none of us knew how to communicate in Chinese how we wanted our hair done.

(I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but female hairstylists are rare in the land of China.)

(Also, I don't feel comfortable having guys touch my hair)

( D: )

Well, three salons later we finally found a place. There was some European dudeman getting his nails done, and Taylor Swift was blasting over head. All in all it seemed promising. [On a sidenote, I'm pretty sure the amount of time it took for all the hairstylists there to style their hair that morning was far greater then the amount of time I've spent on my hair. Ever.]

In case Sukie, our Chinese friend, wasn't able to describe how I wanted my hair cut, I provided my stylist dudeman with a photo and said "Wo yao" (I want). He then proceeded to cut my hair. May I also add this man was a perfectionist. When I thought he had finally finished cutting my hair I thought it looked fine, but nope. He continued to stare at my hair, move the back of it to see how it moved, cut a little bit off, stared at it some more, snipped a bit there, read poetry, studied it some more, rocked out to "It's too late to apologize", cut some more....

You get the idea.

He then proceeded to hairspray it. In my mind I thought "hey, it's raining, he's probably just making sure it still looks good or whatever."

Wrong.

I looked like I just jumped out of an 80's music video when he was done with it. I didn't know my hair was capable of such volume. Once we got out of sight of the salon's front window, I quickly put my hood over my head, hoping the nest on top would settle down.

Crazy volume aside, it was one of the best haircuts I've ever received. Seeing as how it cost 35 kuai (less than 6 dollars) I plan on going back before I leave to get a trim.

Also, I met Heely Boy again today. It was awkward. But we're on a hello basis. So that's cool.

And I've also managed to befriend a small calico that lives outside the apartment. I've named it Xiăo-xiăo. "Xiăo" (pronounced 'shiao shiao') - 小 - means "small" in Chinese. He's really small and slightly dirty, but he's so cute and I feed it whenever I can. The guard who's usually at the entrance to the parking lot is also playing with him a lot.

Oh I should probably mention the title of my post.

I bought a Lady Gaga cd. Specifically a pirated Lady Gaga cd from some back room place in an electronics shop that used a door made out of cardboard to hide its stock from potential police dudemen. We didn't notice the door until we had been in there for 15 minutes. We figured they just lured foreigners there with movies, then killed them.

I'm still alive.

And I own a ton of movies.

Please customs, don't take my movies away from me.

Well, that's all for now. So have fun with your life and stuffs.

That time I met my Soulmate

This is meant to fill the void of a comic I drew. This was taken December 3rd, 2010.

Alright. So, for those of you who don't know, I own a pair of Heelys. The shoes with the wheels in them. No, they're not for children. Yes, you can buy Adult Heelys. No they don't just come in the lame runner shoe model. Yes, you can get them online. Quit asking me where I got them when THE INTERNET exists. Google it.

I would tell you why I got them, but that involves a youtuber you may or may not know of, whose name may or may not rhyme with Robuscus. I never knew adult Heelys for adults existed until I started following his channel... so there. There's the boring story.

Regardless.

I have never, ever, ever ever ever met another person (by person I mean older than 12) who was also wearing heelies. (One of my friends had heelies, but unfortunately he lost the wheels to his, so that dream of heelying about Houghton Campus was quickly thrust deep into the bowels of the earth, straight into the gates of hell).

I will now tell you the story of how I met my potential soulmate/BFFL, and let the oppurtunity crumble through my fingers like the grains of sand that make up our very lives.

It was just like any other night at the apartment. I was just finishing up my homework for Grammar class, when I called Kelsey to see what she was doing for dinner. She informed me that her and Guiliani were both in the mood to eat out at a Korean restaurant down the street, and I told her I would also be up for that. We decided to meet up outside the gate by the International Dorm. Gathering my things in my Totoro backpack, I set off for the elevator (Well in all honesty I was wearing my Heelys, so really I wheeled off).

I pressed the down arrow for the elevator then waited a moment as the elevator stopped at a floor above. As the elevator reached my floor, the doors opened up to reveal a Chinese dudeman, about my age/height on the elevator, with his bike. I saw him kind of look at me, and that entire week people kept looking at me because of my height and I was prepared to tell him I normally wasn't that tall and it was just my Heelys that made me 6 feet tall, but I stopped myself, because he probably didn't know English and if he did I would sound like a crazy person.

Well the elevator finally reached the first floor, and I stepped out first. There being a slight slope outside the entrance to the building, I took the chance to gain some speed and Heely-ed down it. I heard the guy get on his bike and I saw from my periphs that he was about to pass me, when I saw him stop and say something to me. I turned and said "What?" and he pointed at my shoes and said "Heelies". This made me happy. But to tell you the truth, what happened next is probably one of the top 5 coolest things that has ever happened in my life (I don't know what the other four are, but seeing Muse live is one of them, and toboganning down the Great Wall is another).

He proceeded to lift his left shoe, and there, on the heel of his shoe, was a wheel.

He was wearing Heelies.

Then he heelied, with his bike. He was heelying alongside his bike.

I think I was freaking out, but I honestly don't know.

We then began to share where we purchased our respective Heely's. He order his from taobao.com (the Chinese equivalent of eBay) and I told him I got mine from Zappos. He then said something like "American shoe!" and I nodded. Then we just awkwardly stood there, neither of us sure what to say next. Plus I had to meet my friends still. So we departed and he said "Bye!" and I said "Nice meeting you!" But just as those words fell from my mouth, onto the pavement below, it hit me.

How can you MEET someone when you never TOLD THEM YOUR NAME.

D:


If my life was, say a French romantic comedy movie, then I could just leave signs up, asking for the guys name. But 1) my life's not a movie, 2) there are 12 floors above my own, and that's a lot of paper, 3) he might have been visiting someone so he may or may not live here and d) what if he has a girlfriend and my asking his name might be considered creepy in Chinese culture?


So days passed. Seasons changed. Until, five days later, when I had given up all hope....


My and Guiliani were taking the elevator down to go eat lunch, and as we got off the elevator, a boy with his bicycle was waiting to get on.


But,


like an IDIOT


I didn't say anything.


As we were walking away, I cried out to the sky, asking why I was so inept at communicating with other homo sapiens. Then Guiliani mentioned we would be able to find out where he lived if we ran back to see what floor he got off at.


He lives on seventh floor.


Currently, I'm on the sixth floor.


Will we meet again? Who knows.


But that's the story of how I met Heely Boy.


So have fun with your life and stuff.